A few winters ago my three kids were all taking ski and snowboard lessons. Of course, they all want to push and go beyond what I, their mom "thought" they were ready for.
If you are a parent you already know that role comes with lots and lots of opportunities to let go, right? As a mom, who herself was raised in a house of anxiety and fear, I had some big lessons in letting go. There were so many choice points over the years. Do I allow or do I hold back?
So, that winter, I released the reins and let my daughter ski down the mountain with a teenage friend as her guide even though her ski class had not gotten to that level yet. She was 9 years old, with some subtle learning challenges that were less apparent to the untrained eye. I was so nervous inside. Yet, I took some deep breaths and followed her lead.
She took that run with her guide. It was fun to hear them both replay the event. My heart skipped a beat when they talked of her struggling a bit with the ski lift. Truth be told I cringed a bit inside as I also signed in relief. Their excitement was contagious.
She was thrilled at her accomplishment and success. I was so proud of her and so happy for her. Her story also inspired her friend and ski partner to do the same the following week. She was absent for that moment and afraid to ski down the small mountain.
We entrain other people's energy. Success and excitement are contagious, but so is fear. Which energy do you want to be around and catch? Which energy do you choose to lean into on a regular basis?
Fear had crept up inside of me. It showed up in such thoughts as ``I should not let her because she has only had 3 lessons", "because a 13-year-old boy died there last week", "because her dad who broke his arm could not go with her".
My 9 year old told me SHE WAS ready. She was ready to have fun, ready to push her edge, ready to play. She took a stand for her desire. I did not let my own fear override her desire.
If I listened to the fear and stopped her by giving that mothering “no”, she would not have felt so exhilarated. I would have dimmed her light, interfered with her sense of self-trust, and diminished her version of play. I would have taught her to stay “safe” and listened to fear.
There is a time to listen to fear. Healthy levels of fear and anxiety can teach and guide us. But resonating in fear and letting it dominate our decisions is not healthy. Learn to discern the difference.
The memories of how empowered, confident and radiant she looked and felt from stepping into what she desired remind me of how important it is to not allow our fears to limit ourselves and the others around us. If we find ourselves in a pattern of fear controlling our decisions, it’s a good time to begin to unwind those patterns and learn how to release them.
Inner Wisdom Tip: Allowing yourself to feel your fear does not mean you have to allow fear to stop you. Acknowledge it. Feel the fear and ask it what it is here to teach you. Feel the fear and choose the desire anyway. Most likely you'll feel exhilarated too.
Ask yourself “Where in my life can I choose desire over fear?”
Not sure how to release the patterns of fear? Need support to learn how to truly let go of what’s not serving you? Connect with me and let’s chat. Fill out an application for a free connection call here.